Put your top back on, you’r in the city centre
See that massive yellow round thing up there? Amazing init?
It’s hot. So very hot. Hotter than Madrid, apparently, which is why one of Manchester Utd’s Spanish players couldn’t actually speak during their game against Norwich.
British people – Mancunians included – have a set pattern of behaviour when the sun comes out. Namely, to clear out the local supermarket of all meat products, immediately buy and build a barbecue/paddling pool/ill-considered gazebo, and stock up on more multipacks of Carling than you can actually fit in your house.
Here are some things you only ever see in Manchester when the sun comes out.
Jeans on, tops off
Is there anything less attractive than the site of the urban male striding confidently down Market Street with their baggy jeans flapping around and their naked, pale torso, covered in a thin film of sweat? Come on lads. Cover up.
A new approach to sunbathing
Any time. Any place. Anywhere.
Hastily arranged and slightly rubbish picnics
Primula is not a meal
People not thinking about oddly-shaped tanlines
Every beer garden is RAMMED from 12.30
People lose their minds near fountains even though you’re now wet for the rest of the day
Nobody works in the afternoon. At all
People trying to have meetings outside and not really knowing what to do
‘Honestly. I’m in a meeting’
Exchange Square becomes Henman Hill even though there’s no giant TV to look at any more
And people still look up. At what?
People not getting carried away because it’s Manchester after all